Just Jack
vs
On account of the fact that I don't have exams and I'm lazy, I downloaded this week's two hour Alias extravaganza and watched it. After seeing Jack Bristow smashed a CIA head honcho's nose into his face to extract information on his daughter while simultaneously revealing that said CIA head honcho is a mole, I inevitably thought of the other TV spy who's also named Jack. Both have a velvety voice, both have daughters who are retards (Sydney, while not a retard in Kim's level, is World's Worst Spy—therefore retarded in terms of a spy), both daughters were kidnapped at one point, both can be described as "loose canon" and debuted in the 2001 TV season, both have a history of torturing prisoners. Both of them are totally awesome!
Hence, we need a poll: Jack Bristow vs Jack Bauer, who'll win?
posted by Tonka Time @ 3:52 PM
6 Comments:
Ah, yes, but does Jack Bristow have a "Jack Sack™"? or Gravitas?
Jack Bristow is mostly part of the bureaucracy, so far as I can tell from the medium amount of Alias I have seen. Jack Bauer once executed one of his coworkers to prevent the terrorist from releasing a virus—nothing beats that. And this season, instead of shooting the guy he was interrogating, he shot his wife in order to get him to give up his sensitive intel. That’s intense.
But Jack Bristow did shoot his wife. And I'm pretty sure he did that more than once as his wife is a well know terrorist and on the CIA (s)hit list. In fact, I also remember Jack having sex with his wife just for the purpose of planting a bug within her.
ALSO, Bristow family Spy-vacation in Pakistan (and lately, Vancouver) beats whatever the hell that Jack Bauer does with stupid-ass Kim.
Jack Bristow is all like "I want my daughter to love me!"
Jack Bauer is all like "Whatever bitch, get out of CTU!"
Has Bristow come back from the dead? I think not. His wife did--because he's too much of a pussy to put that KGB spy into the ground like he should have. In fact, the repetative narritive involving Jack/Sydney/Irina takes many points away from Bristow.
Bauer is going to take down the president of the united states. Can't get more bitchin then that.
Now, to be fair, if you're married to Lena frickin' Olin, you won't finish her off so hastily. After all, there's way more chemistry in that scene where he reached into her bra for that helicopter beacon than ... whatever, sodium and water.
In addition, Bristow once killed Sloane, then rescue him FROM THE DEAD, just to interrogate him for info and threatened to kill him again. That's pretty awesome. In addition, Bristow gives you the impression that he has no morals, which, again, is rad. And don't forget, that man has a storage unit full of weapons and cash. That's rad, too.
And finally, I agree with Tyson. That man's got panache.
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