Random celebrity post
I think I've finally figured out what's wrong with Katie "I'm carrying L Ron's Xenu child(ren)" Holmes: she has no breasts.
WTF?
posted by Tonka Time @ 10:42 PM
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17 April, 2006
WTF?
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5 Comments:
Actually, the Gibbler seems to be doing alright for herself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Barber
I have my doubts about facts gotten from an angelfire fansite, but apparently People magazine said she's held a job at the U.N--no doubt solving world problems by sitting leaders down for heartwarming talks.
I distinctly remember an episode in season three of Dawson's Creek where Joey Potter threw herself at Dawson in an attempt to be sexy. While the results were far from sexy-time, the scene did reveal that she had small breasts. I'd go as far as to say she was a member of the IBTC (Itty-bitty tittie committee). In conclusion, it doesn't shock me that her child will likely starve—unless they feed it with the communal scientologist breast milk.
Also, Stephanie Tanner was saved by a Full House intervention. Just thought I should add that. I'd imagine the piano played a note, a methed-out Steph sat on her bed, strung the fuck out and Bob Saget said, "Steph, I know it's hard to fit in and sometimes when you have a long-running family sitcom that goes flat, all you have left to turn to is Meth. But we want you to know that me, your sisters and Joey and Jesse are always going to be here for you."
The piano would pick up, and ultimately there would be a group hug by 22 minutes after the hour. They'd go to commercial and maybe come back for one last joke at Gibbler's expense (maybe the friend that Stephanie had in elementary that looked like a duck).
Speaking of both Katie Holmes and starving, Tom Cruise has evidently been drinking paint thinner every morning:
http://entertainment.iafrica.com/news/243452.htm
He wants to eat her fucking placenta. I know it's a fairly common practice in other cultures, but that's for THE MOTHER. I can't believe the level of batshit insane that's flying around H-wood these days. (By the way, all the cool kids are calling it H-wood.)
I wonder what's it like to attend an intervention where Michelle Tanner(s) (aka the faboulously rich and interchangable bag ladies, Mary Kate and Ashley) are there to preach the evils of drugs.
Maybe after the heartwarming talks with uncle Jesse, Michelle (mostly likely MK) would pull her aside and offer her the "good stuff" hidden in her cute little Hello Kitty purse. Then, she'd remind her that meth is the poor man's crack.
Latest update:
Katie finally "gave birth." No doubt in a Neiman Marcus while trying on shoes.
This is also funny because Tom Cruise's sworn enemy, Brooke Shields, gave birth to her second child. A daughter, too! They should get together for playdates. This way, Tomkitten can poke at Brooke Shield's daughter's forehead and call her "glib."
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