Retreat quote book

I was going through my camera bag when I finally came upon the quote book that we had during the retreat. The contents of the retreat quote book have been so far privy to the 13 of us who went on the retreat and was deemed too inflammatory to put in the regular quote book. But since the booklet is barely holding itself together and it might take another 8 months for it to resurface again, I've decided to transcribe the contents onto a more permanent medium: the pinnacle of stability known as internet!

Just to be clear though, 13 people sequestered in a log cabin with little entertainment beyond drinking, smoking up and homosexual chicken means that some of these quotes don't make any sense to outsiders and may not be funny to you. Also, the handwriting is shit, because of all the drinking and smoking up and homosexual chicken, so people may be misquoted.

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It's 10 o'clock and I'm already playing homosexual chicken.
-Dave, on the night's entertainment.


Tim: Steve Smith, eat some fucking ass!
Steve: If you want to eat some ass, eat some ass!

Dave (after kissing Steve's ass cheek): I'm warming it up! Don't critique my style (after a moment of hesitation) I cannot eat your ass in front of 7 people! Steve, you win.

When you initiate with kiss with tongue, that is an insinuation of homosexual chicken.
-Steve, on the rule of engagement concerning homosexual chicken.

If we're going to talk about something loud, let it not the licking someone else's anus.
-Dan, concerned that people staying in the nearby cabins will get a whiff of the night's entertainment. However, we later found out that the family eating outside near us are either deaf/mute or they're Germans who doesn't know English.

Steve, I would have you give me as many suggestions about the Purity Test as you wont before I would have you eating out my Managing Editor's ass.
-Dan

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dave licking my ass!!!
(bwa ha ha ha)
- source unknown. But who ever wrote this down did put down the three exclamation marks.

Steve: Jake's nickname is now rainbow troughton
Cizzy (somewhat stoned): Is that the official name for "licking ass?"

Chris: Marshmallows are good man.
Matt: A truer thing have never been said.

MY WAD GROWS!
-Steve in reference to his Monopoly, um, "wad."

It's more about the precision and distance that my wad would go.
-Dan, rebuttal.

Mountain Dew ... if you close your eyes, it tastes just like Mellow Yellow.
-Mike.

I won all over your face!
-Dan, not sure whether it was referencing Monopoly or homosexual chicken.

My anus is as clean as a whistle and should be treated properly.
-Steve, after a shower.

I'm the KY Jelly to the fucking you guys are going to give to campus.
-Dave, on being Managing Editor

If you can't take it in the ass either way, why play homosexual chicken?
-source unknown

You fucking liar. You TOTALLY have Trooper!
-EiC Dan on Dave's iTunes library.

On the second night we played a very complicated drinking game (I think it was called 3 man) which involve two dices that we grabbed from the Marvelopoly set and an upturned tissue box. Basically, you're suppose to roll the dices on top of the box, if you drop them, you'll become "3 man" and will have to drink whenever somebody rolls a 3 until somebody else becomes the 3 man. Various number combinations result in different drinking rules ie storytime, rhyming game, make a rule.

(unknown): make a rule!
(unknown): no nouns.
O'Leary: you mean the Terry Schivo rule.

For the son of God, you sure suck at this game Jesus Christ.
-O'Leary,referringg to the drinking game. Matt temporarily acquired the nickname of "Jesus Christ" after somebody made up the no name rule. For the same reasons, Mike was Erik the red for a while.

On the rhyming game
Dan: Airport
Mike: Scare-port

Later, on another rhyming game: airplane -> scare-plane -> Claire Danes.

If I am high right now, this will trip the fuck up.
-Cizzy, on the whispering rule.

The anus is difficult because Steve has clamped it shut regularly.
-the story from storytime.

Our EiC is Rain Man
-source unknown

I'm going to fucking demonstrate what's the best thing ever, blueberries and M&M!
-Matt or Chloé

I'll put my fucking margarine down as collateral.
-Mike, on questions about whether he'd pay five dollars he'd been spotted in poker.

Why is there margarine in your bed?
-Dan to Dave

"Nascent handjob" should be out of our vocabulary from now on.
-Jesus Christ, Jasper 11:45

Hey there, fuckface!
-Chloé to Dan.

This is not beautiful. I look like Vince Vega!
-Dave, on getting barrettes put in his hair