Thanks Oilers, for totally ruining my BIRTHDAY!

Back when I had braces, back when I was in high school, back when I had an Oilers jersey autographed by Todd Marchant (in silver) , I was pretty into the Oilers. To the point where my biggest birthday wish was to go to an Oilers playoff game on my birthday. However, thanks to dismal playing—after all, Todd Marchant was one of the highest scorer of the team—and the Dallas Stars, this particular birthday wish never materialized and eventually I stopped caring about the Oilers.

But this year, thanks to Chris Pronger's orbs of power and the Olympics, it just so happens that the Oilers will be playing a home game on Monday. To make matters worse, this could very well be the game that eliminates the Red Wings and OMG SQUEEEE KICK OFF A NEW ROUND OF BATTLE OF ALBERTA!11!!!!1!!1!!

You know what this means right? This means when I'm out on Monday (and Tuesday) to celebrate my birthday at the Strat, there will be shirtless/naked people slathered in blue and copper paint running up and down the Blue and Whyte mile. Worse yet, they'll take up precious seats in bars, waiting for the chance to get electric and wave their silver tinsel pom poms when Shawn Horcoff jam the puck behind Manny Legace during a scramble in front of the net. In fact, I predict the bars will be so full that, we'll have to go the the Strat early in order to secure a seat. In fact, those same people will be on Whyte on Tuesday, honking their horns whether the Oilers win or lose. Therefore, ruining part 2 of my birthday celebration, too.

All I'm saying is that I better not have to spend my birthday in an alley behind a dumpster, drinking cheap tequila from a brown paper bag because the fucking Strat is too full. My only consolation is that Dan said he'll totally join me if it comes to that.

In any case, we'll rendezvous at the Black Dog at 8:00. I'm too lazy to use "e-mail."