TBOAH II (Two Blogs, one Adjoined Heart, part II)

In keeping with the theme of members of The Girl House and The Crap Shack going to weddings in exotic locations together, Chloé and I packed our bags last weekend and headed off to sunny Fort McMurray to see my good friends Adrian and Claudette tie the knot. The weekend was, in the words of Jim Lahey, a shitstorm—the good kind of shitstorm though.
Our initial plan was to leave the city by noon last Friday. At 3pm, after dealing with a credit card setback for the car rental and then fighting through ridiculous traffic and a staggering amount of slow drivers, we were finally on the highway. The drive up was highlighted by the sighting of an enormous wolf. Its back must have been four feet from the ground. That's a big wolf. No one else has been as impressed with this gigantor wolf as I have, but it's my blog post, so I'm sharing it with everyone.



Since we got on the highway so late, we missed the wedding rehearsal on Friday night. The original plan of getting drunk with my friends that night was shifted over to my family, who picked up the slack well. Five hours of travel and five drinks did me in. Sadly, there are no pictures to document the family fun that took place.

On Saturday morning, my sister brought over her now 9-week-old baby before the wedding. It was only my third time seeing her. Every time I see her though (through pics or in person), she looks completely different. I like the little Elvis curl of hair she has on her head. Highlights of hanging out with baby Claire included lifting her up really high to make her stop crying, not changing diapers and enjoying the nice baby smell.



The wedding started at 2pm on Saturday. Since he's never been a man of tradition, Adrian took it upon himself to cry during the ceremony (I was in the wedding, so no pics available). His groomsmen belittled him for this for the rest of the day, especially when Janelle, Claudette's sister/bridemaid, handed Adrian the hanky she had brought for Claudette. Claudette remained dry-eyed throughout. After eight years of dating, I had the wrong partner pinned as the gangster in the relationship.



We went from the church to the small but nice quad area of Keyano College for pictures and drinking in a limo in between pics. When nature called, things got a little greasy. We were in a public place all dressed up in tuxes at 3 in the afternoon; peeing outside was not an option. When faced with the option of peeing in our pants or using the only bathroom in the area, our hands were tied. Five tuxedo-wearing men walked into Showgirls on Franklin Ave that afternoon, catching the attention of all four people in the club. It was so early that there was no on-stage entertainment. We made friends with a guy who went straight from work (still wearing his Carhartt coveralls and workboots) to the strippers, downed a shot or two of jagger and went on our way to the reception.

At the reception, Adrian's best man Kirk gave his speech and told the story of how a 15-year-old Adrian was the first one in the dumpster when he learned that convenience stores through their porn out on a specific day. Upon finding some smut rags, he climbed out and said, "I just want to get laid so bad...I don't care who it is." A funny moment. From there, it was time to take advantage of a toonie bar and get an all-too expensive cab ride back to my parents' place. Here's the best of the pics from the reception: