My roommate is a big fucking retard!

I just finished the cathartic experience of typing a long detailed post of how crappy my apartment is (the last straw happened today as I was walking home and I just happened to look up and noticed that some workers have ripped out big chunks out of our balcony ... why?!!!! I don't know!!! ) when I decided to grab a late night snack—which led me to this:
Now, I have alluded to my roommate's general inaptitude in all things culinary many times through my MSN nickname, MSN conversations with many of you guys, posts on this blog and the not-so-secret facebook wall post. But I never had any evidence to back me up. Until now.

Yeah. I know.

And what grossed me out even more is that underneath that blanket of fuzz, I think that's the curry that she hopelessly burnt, found out that it tasted like shit, and decided that it tasted shitty was because "there wasn't enough salt." Also, I think that's more than a month ago! I swear this mould is so far along in its evolutionary timeline that it just proved intelligent design wrong! Seriously, you can't get more retarded at cooking than this.

Look, I know I can't expect people to have the culinary skills to make turduckens. After all, that's my MO and I'd like to keep it that way. But basic understanding of expiry dates shouldn't be that difficult. This is honestly a new low. Even lower than the bacon burning. I'm going to passive-aggressively encourage her to eat out from now on.

On the bright side, she found a boyfriend recently and has since been sleeping over there almost every night (she mentioned that she should rent out her room on a day-to-day/hourly basis ... except Emily and I weren't sure if she's joking or not) and according to his roommate, they have been "cooking." I'm using the quotation marks because his roommate told me that to Chad, Celine's boyfriend, cooking is equivalent to making a sandwich and we have proved beyond any doubt that Celine fucking sucks at anything that requires a stove. Unfortunately, Chad's roommate is a fellow Sci Jo student, so I feel sorry for her. Fortunately, I'm glad she's no longer a liability at our house.

I've since left her a very non-passive-aggressive note:
I hope she'll read it when she spend the 15 minutes in the apartment changing into a fresh set of clothes between classes.

(And I'm not ashamed if she ever finds out about this post/invite to public humilation)

P.S. The apartment post is still coming! Later this week perhaps.