What Not to Wear
There are many good bits about Project Runway that make the show so addictive. The fact that Bravo! decides to rerun the show like 7 times a day in lieu of any other original programming (because it has none), basically just reinforces any addiction that I have towards the show. The highlight of this season's Project Runway was undoubtly a scene where Catherine Malandrino was the guest judge for the Paris couture challenge and upon seeing Vincent's crime against fashion (it has these fugly, unfinished-looking sleeves and the skirt looked like it was recycled from Zsa Zsa Gabor's couch, circa 1940 and it has this flower right on the butt), the fabulous Ms Malandrino wrote on her card, "No, no, no." That was bitchy, straightforward and awesome! She also said it in a thick French accent. Thus, awesomer!
But that was nothing compared to my reaction upon seeing this monstrosity walking towards me on Commonwealth Ave:
The hair was classic pre-divorce-I-can't-afford-to-
get-new-hair-extensions-because-my-deadbeat-
husband-is-buying-weed-and-getting-hookers-
with-all-of-my-Hit-Me-Baby-One-More-Time-
royalty-money Britney Spears. (Who, btw, is bring the fierce back and making all the right moves since filing the divorce papers. Kudos, brit brit. I never knew you could rebound this fast and this well.)
My drawing made it look like it was a letterman jacket. But it's actually a velour Juicy hoodie, with a letterman pattern. WTF?!
As for the boots, those are perhaps the most accurately drawn object in this artist's rendition since Ugg boots actually look like that. (Don't even get me started on how Ugg boots are the most useless footwear in this wet New England weather.) What made it worse was that those were pale pink and blue stripped pajama pants stuffed into the Uggs. I think those were faded raggy pajama pants, too.
OMG! My eyes hurt. I actually had to do a stop and catch my breath after seeing that. I would've taken a picture with my phone had I not want this image to sully my sexy black phone.
And the sad thing was that that's not a homeless person. That's a student. She was actually clutching a stack of books as she walked past me.
Mon dieu!
posted by Tonka Time @ 9:50 PM
9 Comments:
AHHH! Fashion don't!
I love those people who think that if they throw on designer threads it makes up for the rest of their outfit.
Oh man! There is this girl who sits in front of Robin and me in Art History. She wears nothing but L.A.M.B. Which in any other case would be fine, but she simply can't get it together. Maybe it is her outgrown blonde highlights which are contantly unkept and greasy or her choice of shoes. Think Mariah Carey in her "Loverboy" video. I can't decide.
Iris, you're awesomeness grows with each new post. I stand by my previous statements on velour and the people who wear it: only strippers wear velour. I haven't been to the strippers a whole lot, but everytime I've gone, the strippers always put on velour track suits and prance around the bar before and after their act.
Oh, and guys: we got spammed in our last post! We are officially big time.
I'm convinced that L.A.M.B is the most difficult fashion line to wear because only Gwen Stefani, in her radiant awesomeness, is able to handle it. Did you see pictures of her son? Cutest baby clothes ever!
Chris, I notice the spam too! We are big time.
High fives all around.
No no no no no (said Catherine Malandrino style). The best quote from her was when she stared disdainfully at Kayne's travel outfit, and said, "Kayne. You look ridiculous. You look like a fake popstar." Both my dad and I totally had our mouths open after she said that completely straightfaced. OH SNAP!
Kayne's outfit was really fugly though. I mean, there's some crackheaded psychedelic mojo going on with the pattern and I can't believe he even picked that fabric.
But I'm sure that stinging comment by Calterine Malandrino is somewhat cushioned by her chic accent.
Oh Kayne, you're so rideeculous.
Given the priority you evidently put on fashion, I'm surprised that you and I were able to remain on good terms for the year we worked together.
If your legs were any less dreamy, I would've voiced my displeasure.
Oh, agreed that Kayne's outfit was ugly. It's just fabulous that that Mme. Malandrino was sooo overt about how ugly it was. To his face. Even Heidi would have probably blunted her insult slightly with that brilliant smile of hers.
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