They're on my list of people to beat up as well.

Happy New Year!!

In order to properly anticipate the new year, I've decided to revive the ever cathartic list of people I'd like to fight. Because really, can you see me approaching the new year in any manner beyond inappropriate ass-jokes and rage? Anyway, I know I'm going to look like a total fem-jerk for wanting to beat up children. However, I'm sure my swift roundhouse kicks are absolutely justified once you realize that the aforementioned children are the K-Tel Mini Pop kids.

I was watching TV that day when I found out that the "MPKs" are releasing their THIRD CD. On which they decide to boot-fuck such classics as Hooked on a Feeling and Life is a Highway, as well as non-classics A Public Affair, Crazy, S.O.S.

You know what else is worse than Paris Hilton signing Stars are Blind? Having 7-year-olds regurgitate it. It’s like that embarrassingly bad mixtape that your 10-year-old retarded cousin made with his Fisher-Price recorder-radio set and you secretly think that's the worst birthday present ever, but you can't throw it away because it's made by your retarded cousin. It's exactly like that, except you have to pay for this.

Now, I have nothing against karaoke. Karaoke is awesome. Without karaoke, there won't be American Idol. And though Clay Aiken is a horrible byproduct of the show, don't forget American Idol gave us Kelly Clarkson; without Kelly Clarkson, there's won't be Since U Been Gone—the infectiously danceable song perfect for belting out at the top of your lungs into the showerhead as you shower. (In fact, Jake and Smiz, if we ever get around to it, we should karaoke before I leave. And I'll sing Since U Been Gone)

However, I wonder who's bright idea is it to herd a group of children—with the perfect balance of gender, skin colour and ethnic background of course—into the recording studio and record their karaoke attempts. What's crazier is that this is the third version of this, meaning CD 1 and 2 did so well that it warrants a third one.

So I guess who I really want to fight are the adults behind this and the adults who buy these CDs. But, whatever, the out-of-key MPKs totally deserve the blame, and my fist of fury, as well. (Also, the asian girl of the group has weird eyebrows. I don't like that.)